I thought life shuttled between pain and pleasure
I thought my choices were between gratitude or Sabr*
I thought I needed to either laugh high or cry low
I thought I could only crave love or desire my lover
watching frenzied shoppers when I have nothing to buy
watching overwhelmed mothers when mine are ready to fly
watching the sun come up after a productive ER night
watching ocean waves after my welled up eyes become dry
I discovered another treasure
beyond pain and pleasure
beyond gratitude and sabr
beyond the essence of my lover
where nothing needs to be done or said
where no emotions no sentiments exist
where time tip toes into motionlessness
where an inert, still awareness persists.
Ambreen
*sabr is an urdu language word that means perseverence