Ascent

Ambreen Ahsan

Cold air chills the metal in my spine

My head feels heavy, trying to align

Exhausted from yesterday and tomorrow

Adamant to spend ‘now’ without sorrow

 

I turn on the car keys, BBC blasts on

Obama or McCain, finance going down

Switch to a love song very intense

The lover’s craze, his desire immense

 

I think of You; my craze, my desire

every word of the song taking me higher

I see your beauty in the grace of the sky

I see Your birds seeming to say Hi

Driving heedlessly, oblivious of Route 80

singing to my God, crying in my gaiety

By the time Passaic arrive, a rebirth

Fatigue washed in tears, pain in mirth.

 

It maybe said that I drove to work

Only I Know that I ascended to work. 

                                                             Alara

 

 

All poems subject to copyright 2018 Alara Azad
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Abyss

Ambreen Ahsan

 

 

I think that YOU,  the giver of my life

Perhaps want to strip me of every illusion

I, the beggar has nothing to beg

I, the achiever has nothing to achieve

I, the fighter has nothing to fight

I, the seducer has no one to seduce

I, the knower knows nothing now

I, the shopper has nothing to shop

I , the lover feels no love

 

Now that You don’t shine through my lover

Where do I find the fountain of your love

all that is left of me is a vaccuum

That seeks and seeks and seeks 

groping for that light that speaks.

 

I sow a seed of faith in my abyss

and just maybe one day

your love will grow out of it

and fill it to the brim

Till then I have nothing but eyes

for this vacuum

This is where my love will blossom.

                                                     Alara

 

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Fake Tears

Ambreen Ahsan

In the frenzy of departure

the luggage , the ticket, the passport

The flight number, the gate number

The rushed drive to the airport.

 

The final overhead announcement

Call for boarding the airplane

A sinking, drowning  sentiment

In my young six year old brain

 

In the chaos of goodbyes

I saw her beautiful and tall

She finally turned around to me

after saying goodbyes to all

 

Would have been infinitely better

had she ignored me

casually, with indifference

had she left nonchalantly.

 

But alas ………..

 

She decided to cry fake tears

distorting her face usually proud

sobbing a little too loud

lame acting to convince the crowd

 

I knew her well, through and through

her abuses, her taunts, her dark fears

But that display of fake tears

clung to me for years and years

 

Today, I have forgiven her

Maybe she was overwhelmed

Maybe her guilt made her numb

I actually pity she felt ashamed

 

But those fake tears washed me clean

stripped me of all illusions and dreams

Knocked me in front of God supreme

Darker the night, brighter the stars gleam.

                                                                           Alara

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Freedom

Ambreen Ahsan

If I could perceive the speed of earth under my feet

or the billions of processes within me in every beat

If I could perceive myself in this vast universe so neat

or that nitrogen I inhale is a distant star’s treat.

 

Instead

 

I learn about it randomly from some science text

As I am brushing past it, pushing Asher to do his best

Jumping from chore to another, one patient to next

Like a hamster ridiculous on his wheel without rest

 

But…..

 

Now it is time to really open my closed eyes

Now it is time to shut my ears from all noise

Now it is time to contemplate and realize

Freedom awaits me if I break my anchored ties.

                                                                               Alara

 

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